advice

Great Reminder For Parents As Kids Perform

There are some pieces of advice that you hear that stick with you. Maybe it comes from a conversation you had with someone or something thought-provoking you heard a speaker say or something you read. I was reminded today of a solid piece of parenting advice I read a while ago through a rather unlikely source – Timehop.

My Timehop today pointed back to a post on my blog from four years ago. When I saw it, I thought two things:

I can’t believe that was four years ago
That is still so true today.

If you are a parent who has a student involved in sports of any kind (or any performance activity), this is so helpful. Check out this advice from four years ago that will be of value for years to come.

I thought what Tim Elmore shared in a recent post was great advice for parents. He wrote about what parents should say as they watch their kids perform and it would be worth your time to read the whole post.

If you’ve been to sporting events, you probably have a long list of what parents shouldn’t say as they watch their kids. In the post, based on psychological research, the three healthiest statements moms and dads can make as they perform are:

Before the Competition:
1. Have fun.
2. Play hard.
3. I love you.

After the competition:
1. Did you have fun?
2. I’m proud of you.
3. I love you.

Then he shared six simple words that parents should say based on what they heard from college athletes: “I love to watch you play.” If we could keep that as the primary part of our vocabulary, it would free the students to perform and the parents to cheer.

She’s THAT Mom // Cheryl’s Latest Post @DaytonMomsBlog

Cheryl’s latest post on Dayton Moms Blog took her on a little journey down memory lane as she thought about when her big boys were little. She is now THAT mom.

As moms, we all know what kind of mom I am referring to……..

The mom that looks at the young mom and gives a little smile.
The mom that sweetly smiles and giggles as you discipline your child in the store, and just watches you.
The mom that offers to help you with your bag, when you look like your about to drop said bag.
The mom that asks if she can help you out the door, when you have a cart in one hand and a car seat in the other.
The mom that seems to be watching you as you multi- task.
The mom that looks at you and pats you on the shoulder and says, “Enjoy these sweet moments, they grow up so quickly.”

Read the rest of the post on the Dayton Moms Blog

My Teenage Zombie – a review

I have a confession as I begin this post: I’m not really into the zombie thing. I have not watched a single minute of The Walking Dead. I don’t watch zombie movies like World War Z, Shaun of the Dead or even Night of the Living Dead.

Probably the closest thing I’ve seen in the zombie genre is a particular episode of Phineas and Ferb that my son likes to watch and, of course, Michael Jackson’s classic music video, Thriller.

So, when I first saw this title, My Teenage Zombie, it didn’t really strike a chord with me. However, as I read it, I found it to be a great description that Dr. Henderson carries throughout the book and is an image I as a parent could relate to as he spoke about the adolescent years.

This book is not bashing the adolescent years or railing against today’s teenagers. It is rather a solid resource for parents who either have a teenager living under their roof or, better yet, have children that will be entering adolescence in the future.

In My Teenage Zombie Dr. Henderson addresses all the changes that teens are going through as well as the unique pressures students in our current culture are enduring. He also offers some great insight to parents from his education and experience about how to understand and then engage with “teen zombies.”

He gives an apt description of what he considers a teen zombie: “Undead adolescents are directionless, and this lack of direction leads them to focus all their attention on one thing: themselves.” As some students go through adolescence they sometimes fit this description and parents are left with the task of addressing their son or daughter in this zombie like state.

In offering some insights to parents, Dr. Henderson talks about these areas to address to resurrect an undead adolescent. He writes that a teenage zombie lacks these three elements that are necessary to sustain life:

Pulse = direction
Spark = motivation
Fiber = determination

In the book he elaborates on each one both from the perspective of the teen and what he/she is going through, but also from the perspective of parents who could be feeling frustrated, confused and ready to give up.

Dr. Henderson had some good advice to parents and I thought this was especially poignant: Parents are the stable framework that help a teen grow into a strong & mature adult. Be that stable & predictable framework for your kids. What a good reminder that our teens need parents who will offer stability, predictability and consistency as they navigate the adolescent years.

The author offers a balance of medical information (I found the chapter that talked about the adolescent brain to be very interesting), real-life examples from his own experience as a psychiatrist, reflections from his own journey through adolescence and Biblical principles that speak to both parents and teens.

My Teenage Zombie is a good resource for parents who want to understand how to address the undead adolescent who might be living in their home and a great tool for families who look forward to navigating the ups and downs of the teen years.

To read more info on the book or to order a copy, click on the image at the top of the post to be directed to the publisher’s website.

My Wife the Blogger @DaytonMomsBlog

dayton_logo_circle-1-copy-300x300 Recently my wife was added as contributing writer for the Dayton Moms Blog. Her first post will go live on Friday, February 3. She was excited about the opportunity to be a writer for the blog and has been working hard on some posts to share.

Dayton Moms Blog is a collaborative blog written by more than 20 local moms who share their stories “covering anything from diapering to discipline.” The blog publishes content five days a week.

While I’m sure I will be sharing some of her great content here, you can check out the other posts at Dayton Moms Blog.

You can also check out the Blog Team and read a little bit about each mom. Here’s one of my favorite writers. Enjoy!

my-wife-the-blogger

The Noticer

I saw a tweet last week that Andy Andrew’s book The Noticer was available for the Kindle for $2.99 so I snagged it. I’ve read The Final Summit and The Traveler’s Gift and enjoyed both of them. Andrews is a good storyteller and he pulls you into the tale he is weaving.

One of the things I enjoyed about his other writings was the use of biographies of both well-known and somewhat obscure characters from history.

The Noticer, who goes by Jones (just Jones, not Mr. Jones) pops in and out-of-town and offers wisdom and advice to the people he meets. He doesn’t seem to age and is always seen carrying a weathered, brown suitcase. The contents of the suitcase are a mystery to everyone he encounters. He says his gift is noticing things and people just need a little perspective, so he offers that different perspective. Much of what he shares with others comes from the lives of those in the past. He refers to George Washington Carver among many others and provides helpful advice at the time people need to hear it. He helps a couple struggling in their marriage, a business man trying to cut corners in order to be successful, a young man who is facing various difficulties in life and even dispenses relationship advice to teenagers. He shows up at the just the right place, at just the right time, with the right words for the situation.

One of the quotes I highlighted in the book was this: “Have you ever considered how often we judge ourselves by our intentions while we judge others by their actions?”

The Noticer offers good advice and a different perspective to the reader. Check it out.

Thoughts from a Hoosier Fan in the Buckeye Land