Teens Still On Facebook

There have been different voices talking about what social media outlets teens are using. For the last year or so many people have been saying that teens are moving away from Facebook. With the growth of Instagram, SnapChat and other outlets, the fairly common opinion was that students were abandoning Facebook.

As someone who works with students, I’m always looking for ways to communicate with students and I go back and forth between social media outlets. Most times, I use both Facebook and Instagram along with a group texting service.

A recent article from the Pew Research Center shows that teens chose Facebook most often out of the social media options. From a survey of teens ages 13-17, it shows that 41% of teens use Facebook most often. While they are using other social media utilities, it’s interesting to me that Facebook leads the way.

Social media continues to change.  I wonder what will be popular when my almost 2 year old reaches the teen years.  Right now, Facebook seems to be on top for teens.

Best & Worst Jobs in 2014

Our High School class is spending the month of November looking at the future. There are a number of decisions that teenagers need to make in regards to their future – what school to attend, what major to declare, what career to pursue, along with many other choices both big and small. We will explore some Biblical principles that God provides to help us in making these decisions.

One of our discussion topics is on career – what kind of work do I want to do for a large portion of my adult life? I started looking around at what the best and worst jobs are. I ran across this infographic on CareerCast.com.  A big part of where they were ranked was based on income, but thought it was interesting to get a feel for what career fields are currently trending well.

So, what about you?  What criteria did you use as your determined your career?  What was important to you as you were looking for a job?  Might be interesting for our high school students to hear.

Refuse to Drown

In the epilogue of his book, the author made this powerful observation and statement: “At some point in the process, my eyes were opened to an incredible truth: we can’t do this thing called life alone.” As Tim Kreider shares his painful and powerful story of walking through the incarceration of his son, he underscores the importance of involving and inviting other people into our lives.

When I received Refuse to Drown I already knew the premise of the book – that the author’s son was involved in a murder and the father had to make some difficult choices that would have lasting impact on his son. Knowing the backdrop of the book did not diminish the power of Kreider’s story. Walking with him through the facts of the murder, the emotional struggles of his son, Alec, the discovery of his son’s involvement in the crime, how it impacted both himself and his other children and the heartbreaking choices he had to make, I was drawn into his narrative. As a parent, I found myself hoping for some twist in the story, some unforeseen change that would redirect how the story would end. Unfortunately, that didn’t take place.

What Refuse to Drown does is underscore what Kreider shared in his epilogue – we can’t do this life alone. Alec’s story is a stirring reminder that we need to allow other people into our lives, even when it is difficult and uncomfortable. It was encouraging through the book to see how various people – both friends and strangers – spoke into Tim Kreider’s life and offered the support and assistance he needed.

This book is a compelling read, but especially for those who may be going through a dark season in life. It is a stark reminder that the decisions we make in private eventually become public and that we aren’t alone in our struggles. If you or someone you know is struggling, Refuse to Drown is a helpful reminder that we can’t live this life alone.

7 Men review

7 Men gives a brief look into the lives of seven men who influenced the people of their time period and whose impact still endures today. Most readers will recognize the names of the men in this book, but probably don’t know a lot about each man’s story. The men featured in the book are George Washington, William Wilberforce, Eric Liddell, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Jackie Robinson, Pope John Paull II and Chuck Colson.

Obviously each man is recognizable for something they accomplished – George Washington for being the first President of the US, Eric Liddell for refusing to run in his strongest Olympic event because it was held on Sunday, Jackie Robinson for breaking the color barrier in baseball. What 7 Men focuses on are the circumstances leading up to or following those well-known events. The author highlights the decisions and choices that were made that lead up to those notable accomplishments and what occurred afterward. For example, most of the chapter on Eric Liddell discusses the direction of his life following his Olympic experience. Most people know about his gold medal. Many probably don’t know what he did when the games were over.

7 Men provided an honest look at the lives of these men. The author shared both their successes and their shortcomings. It was a good read that might prompt the reader to investigate more information about these men than what these shorter biographies provide.

Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

A few weeks ago I was listening to some podcasts and this article was referenced. A nurse worked with patients who had only 3 to 12 weeks to lives. In her conversations with these patients, the issue of regrets came up and she noticed that common theme surfaced in her conversations.

This month in our High School class, we are going to talk about making decisions in key areas of our lives. Our students are at a point in their lives where there aren’t too many huge regrets. I’m hoping we can help the next generation make choices in advance that will do away with future regrets. I looked up the article to share with my students and wanted to post it here as well.

You can read the entire article on The Huffington Post website.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

The Best Question Ever – a review

Andy Stanley is one of my favorite authors and speakers. He communicates in an engaging way, both in the spoken and written word, and is also very practical. He continues that in his book The Best Question Ever.

In this offering, Stanley explores what he calls a new approach to decision-making. His premise is that rather than look to make the right decision, we should look to make the wise decision. He states it like this: “In light of your past experience, your current circumstance, and your future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing to do.”  Rather than just look at a decision and see if there is anything wrong with it, we should see what is wise.

In The Best Question Ever Stanley applies this question to decisions regarding our time, our money and our relationships.  In all these areas, making wise decisions is vital because they can have lasting impact on our own lives and those around us.

I like how Stanley emphasizes the importance of making wise choices on page 125 of the book:  “None of us plan – or intend – to get into trouble.  The problem is, we don’t have a plan not to.  Adopting the Best Question Ever enables us to plan not to.”

Everyone wants to make good decisions.  In this book, Stanley gives some good insight from God’s Word on how to go about making good decisions and part of it is seeing that we are not as unique as we think we are.  When faced with a decision, we can convince ourselves that we are the exception to the rule.  We can go down a certain path because we can handle it, we are smarter or it simply won’t happen to us like it does to other people.  On page 111, he puts on paper what many people think:  “Nobody has ever felt this way before. No one has to deal with what I have to deal with.  I can handle it.  I’m not live everybody else…”

Stanley speaks directly to our need to see that we aren’t unique, that we do need wisdom outside of our ourselves, that wisdom seeks advice from others and God wants to help us make those wise decisions.

The Best Question Ever would be a good resource for high school and college students and young adults.  While more mature adults would benefit from this book, many of the decisions to which he refers are being made by those in the young adult period of their lives.  This would be a good tool for pastors and leaders in student ministry to work through in a small group setting.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review

Dwight Talks About The Teen Brain

If you are a fan of “The Office,” you know Dwight as the over-achieving, position seeking employee.  Dwight, whose real name is Rainn Wilson, just launched a new YouTube channel which will “explore what it means to be human.”

In the video below, he talks about the teenage brain, why teens act the way they do and puts an emphasis on the fact that teenagers’ brains are still developing.

Over the last few years, we’ve seen a lot of research come out about this very topic and this video does a good job helping both adults and teens recognize that teen brains are still growing and developing and that impacts decisions they make.  A particularly good statement was made at the end of the video regarding teen brain development and how they respond to certain events:

“The severity of feeling is sometimes out of line with the reality of the problem.”

I think it is good information for those who work with teens and is a good reminder that students, and their brains, are a work in progress.

* * Please note there is some crass language in the video.  Just a FYI on that.

I saw this posted on Life in Student Ministry website.  You can go there to not only watch the video, but follow some links that to the resources referred to in the video.

Some good stuff here.

Defining Decisions…Daily Decisions

While listening to a podcast on the way into the office, I was reminded of a great principle.  At times in our lives we make defining decisions, decisions that change the direction of our lives.  But it is in the daily decisions we make after that defining decision that make the difference.  Or put another way, we make a few major decisions throughout our lives.  It is how we manage those major decisions that make the difference.

I have seen many students and adults (myself included) make defining decisions: I’m committing to this. I’m changing this, I’m starting this, I’m stopping that.  While there is power in the major decisions, if I don’t manage those decisions in the days that follow, the decision doesn’t lead to change.

How many times have I decided to read my Bible more, pray more, spend less, give more, share more?  Maybe I hear a great speaker or am motivated by a cool experience, but if I don’t change my daily decisions, my defining decision becomes a memory of what I wish I would have done.

I know I need God’s help to manage those daily decisions that will then help guide me into that defining decision.