Losing Sleep Over Social Media

You know that feeling, don’t you?  You post a picture on Instagram or share something on Facebook or even write something meaningful (or at least you think so) on your blog and then you wait.  Will anyone see it?  Will they like it? Perhaps even share it or retweet the wisdom you just shared?

Following yesterday’s post regarding the number of selfies we see filling social media comes this article about teens that lose sleep over social media.

According to the research one-fifth of teens wake up during the night to check their social media feed.

The research comes from outside of the US, but I have to believe this is true in our country as well.  I remember hearing about teens who put plastic over their phones so they could have them while they showered because they were afraid they would miss something while separated from their device.

There have been other studies that have looked at teens texting at night.

While this information is neither new or surprising, it does shine a light on how connected we can become as people to social media and technology.

Youth speaker and author Jonathan McKee offers these suggestions for parents in addressing the issue and helping students make wise choices regarding social media use and technology in general.

1) Have conversations about the effects of social media. Not lectures… conversations! Read them one of the articles linked above and ask, “Is this right?” Then ask, “What do you think is a wise way to prevent this?”

2) Don’t think mere rules will solve the problem. The answer isn’t as simple as just limiting screen time (which isn’t a bad thing) or buying the newest parental tracking software for your kids’ phones (which isn’t fool proof by any means). Instead take the time and effort to teach your kids responsibility with their mobile devices. Here are 5 steps to actually doing that.

3) Look for ways to connect with your over-connected kids without have to say, “Put that stupid phone away.” Give them opportunities to enjoy “tech free” zones. Here are the top 5 of these connections I return to again and again.

If social media is keeping your teens up at night (or even you for that matter), this is good information for parents and those who work with students.

Kingdom Worker Card Challenge

Lightstock-Stock-Photo-Pearl-Smart-Phone-AddictionBack in June, we took some of our high school students to the CIY MOVE Conference at Cedarville University. I shared a little bit about our experience in a previous post.

The challenge of any retreat, conference or camp experience is making it stick once you get home. One of the things MOVE offers is the Kingdom Worker Card challenge. Each person at conference is giving a business card size envelope that has a specific challenge. The twist is that each person has to commit to complete the task on the card prior to opening the envelope. I was proud of our students who opened their cards and, in doing so, committed to complete what was on the card.

My card was interesting. It read as follows: For the next year, make a serious effort to not pull our your phone in any social situation. Talk to people, ask questions and tell some jokes.

At first I thought, “No big deal.” But in the 20 days (and counting) since we’ve been home, I’ve found it to be somewhat challenging. It immediately made me aware of how often I pull out my phone to check email, notifications, etc. It has also underscored that I am not a good multi-tasker and usually defer to my phone than engage in a conversation.

While I will look for ways to encourage our students to fulfill what was on their cards, I will need to do the same with mine. Here’s to less screen time and to more face time with those around me.

Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

CemeteryA few weeks ago I was listening to some podcasts and this article was referenced. A nurse worked with patients who had only 3 to 12 weeks to lives. In her conversations with these patients, the issue of regrets came up and she noticed that common theme surfaced in her conversations.

This month in our High School class, we are going to talk about making decisions in key areas of our lives. Our students are at a point in their lives where there aren’t too many huge regrets. I’m hoping we can help the next generation make choices in advance that will do away with future regrets. I looked up the article to share with my students and wanted to post it here as well.

You can read the entire article on The Huffington Post website.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.