Great Reminder For Parents As Kids Perform

There are some pieces of advice that you hear that stick with you. Maybe it comes from a conversation you had with someone or something thought-provoking you heard a speaker say or something you read. I was reminded today of a solid piece of parenting advice I read a while ago through a rather unlikely source – Timehop.

My Timehop today pointed back to a post on my blog from four years ago. When I saw it, I thought two things:

1. I can’t believe that was four years ago
2. That is still so true today.

If you are a parent who has a student involved in sports of any kind (or any performance activity), this is so helpful. Check out this advice from four years ago that will be of value for years to come.

I thought what Tim Elmore shared in a recent post was great advice for parents. He wrote about what parents should say as they watch their kids perform and it would be worth your time to read the whole post.

If you’ve been to sporting events, you probably have a long list of what parents shouldn’t say as they watch their kids. In the post, based on psychological research, the three healthiest statements moms and dads can make as they perform are:

Before the Competition:
1. Have fun.
2. Play hard.
3. I love you.

After the competition:
1. Did you have fun?
2. I’m proud of you.
3. I love you.

Then he shared six simple words that parents should say based on what they heard from college athletes: “I love to watch you play.” If we could keep that as the primary part of our vocabulary, it would free the students to perform and the parents to cheer.

Smartphones, Kids & Parents

I saw a link on Twitter today to a study done by Nielsen looking at kids and smartphones. The study looked at the average age at which kids first received a smart phone, why parents purchase a smart phone for their child and the concerns parents have.  It’s pretty interesting to see the responses and then, as parents and those who work with students, think through how that impacts the students with which we work.

Here a few highlights from study:

• The most predominant age when kids got a service plan was age 10 (22%)
• 45% of mobile kids got a service plan at 10-12 years old
• Among parents likely to get their kids wireless service before they turn 13, being able to get hold of their child easily and that their child can reach out to them easily were top reasons (90%)
• 72% of parents were concerned that smartphones pose too much distraction

It’s an interesting article for parents whose children have a smart phone and for parents who have the issue coming in the future.  The article shares other stats and infographics as well.

You can read the entire article on the Nielsen website.

So…how old were your kids when they got their first smart phone?

How old do you think a child should be to manage a smart phone?

Cheryl’s Blog Post About Valentines Day @DaytonMomsBlog

Cheryl’s second post went live a couple of days ago on the Dayton Moms Blog just in time for Valentine’s Day.  She writes about 8 ideas for your kids on Valentine’s Day.

And it’s true!  Each year she does something for the kids on Valentine’s Day.  It’s a simple way to show love to your kids on a day when everyone is thinking about love.

Read the post or check out the ideas below.

For almost 10 years I was a single mom of two little boys. Instead of feeling sad or lonely on Valentine’s Day, I decided it was a great opportunity to show my boys how much I loved them and teach them how to show love to others. t became a tradition that I looked forward to. I thought that someday (many years away) when they had a special someone, they would benefit from this “training”. We started each Valentine’s Day off with a box of chocolates, and a card and then after school or our events for the day, ended our evening off with a delicious Italian dinner, equal to that of scene from Lady and the Tramp. Each year the boys looked forward to this and I was always on the lookout for another way to show them how much I love THEM. Here are a few ideas to add to your own list. Valentine’s Day may be silly to some, a greeting card holiday to others, however I always love the opportunity to tell my kids how much I love them.

1. Prepare a candle lit dinner for your kids.
2. Write your child a letter or a poem and tell them why you love them.
3. Plan a scavenger hunt for your kids, ending with a box of chocolates.
4. Make individual books on Shutterfly or another picture loving site for each child, listing what you love about them.
5. Have a home-made card for your child to open up everyday leading up to Valentine’s Day- with a quality you love about them in each note.
6. Buy a Valentine puzzle, put it together and write why you love your child on the back, take puzzle a part and give them a piece each day until complete.
7. Spend some time at the dinner table or in the family room, pass out conversation heart candies and talk about what you love about each member of your family, you get a heart to munch on after each time you share.
8. Have a Valentine picnic (in Ohio this is indoors), enjoy heart-shaped food and end the evening with a box of sweets.

What do you do to make Valentine’s Day fun for your kiddos?

My Wife the Blogger @DaytonMomsBlog

 

Recently my wife was added as contributing writer for the Dayton Moms Blog.  Her first post will go live on Friday, February 3.  She was excited about the opportunity to be a writer for the blog and has been working hard on some posts to share.

Dayton Moms Blog is a collaborative blog written by more than 20 local moms who share their stories “covering anything from diapering to discipline.”  The blog publishes content five days a week.

While I’m sure I will be sharing some of her great content here, you can check out the other posts at Dayton Moms Blog.

You can also check out the Blog Team and read a little bit about each mom.  Here’s one of my favorite writers.  Enjoy!

 

Great Christmas Opener from North Point

In the past I’ve posted things I’ve heard on the podcast from North Point Community Church in Atlanta. A couple of years ago several of us from Wilmington went to a conference they put on and we saw some of their creativity first hand.

Each year they have a Christmas opener that kicks off their services. In inviting people to this year’s services, they posted last year’s opener. It is so funny and so well done. Take about 9 minutes and check it out. You have to watch the first half (the part with the kids) which makes the second part so humorous.

Christmas 2013 Opener: “Christmas In Bevelton (The Best Christmas Carol Ever)” from North Point Media on Vimeo.

And They Are Off…

The past few weeks have been kind of a whirlwind around our house. Josiah finished up the school year at CCU and we got him moved out of the dorm. About a week later we had Sydney’s Graduation Open House on a Monday and then she officially graduated from high school on that Friday. By June 1st, both kids were gone.

Josiah is spending the summer near Chicago, IL, serving as an intern at Journey Christian Church in Elmhurst. He will be involved with the worship ministry, take part in staff meetings and get a taste of life in a church plant. The church doesn’t have their own building yet, so he gets to experience the weekly setup and tear down for the worship service.

Sydney started her freshmen year at the University of Louisville this week. She moved in June 1, had orientation on the 2nd and started her first class on the 3rd. Much of the team is on campus during the summer taking classes and working out. Her first day on campus she joined one of the coaches and a current player to pick up a recruit at the airport. She is excited about being on campus, starting basketball workouts and settling into college life.

I love the picture of Joe and Syd at the top of the page. Hard to believe that time has moved so quickly and they are not only out of the house, they are out of the state. I’m excited about what God will continue to do in them and through them.

Parents Interpret for their Kids

Any time you turn on the news, something bad has happened. The big news right now is the missing Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 and it is terrible to watch and think about. This morning I also saw the story of the mudslides in Washington and the difficulty the search and rescue teams are having in locating survivors. Those are only two of the sad stories the news carried just today.

This morning I listened to a conversation between Ken Coleman and John Piper. The conversation turned to parenting, including raising adopted kids as both gentlemen have adopted children into their family. Ken then presented the question to John Piper about how to communicate with our kids about the bad things that continue to happen in the world. There are so many ways our kids can hear about tragic events and Ken Coleman asked Piper how do we deal with that. I thought John Piper’s answer was great: “We have the golden opportunity to take the initiative, if they hear it from the news on TV or the iPad, to get the interpretation from mom and dad.” He went on to say that we won’t have all the answers, but we can help our kids interpret the evil in the world and what God has to say about it.

Now that my wife and I have a 6-month old in the house, we are kind of beginning the parenting process all over again. It was a good reminder to me that whatever the future brings and whatever evil takes place in the world, we can help our son interpret it and point him to a loving Heavenly Father who is bigger than any of the evil we experience.

Misunderstood – Apple’s Holiday Ad

I saw the link to this on Twitter today. Thought it was a unique way of capturing how families celebrate the Christmas season and perhaps bridging the gap between technology and personal interaction. Or, just a commercial to make you feel a little sappy.

Enjoy!

Words for Parents as Kids Perform

When my kids were younger, I would volunteer to coach their teams. Like a lot of parents, I’ve coached YMCA basketball and soccer teams, “Paw Ball” basketball in Indiana, Upward basketball here in Ohio and was a “band parent” when my son was in marching band. I’ve also been through the transition of moving from primary coach to a cheering parent on the sidelines or in the stands.

I thought what Tim Elmore shared in a recent post was great advice for parents. He wrote about what parents should say as they watch their kids perform and it would be worth your time to read the whole post.

If you’ve been to sporting events, you probably have a long list of what parents shouldn’t say as they watch their kids. In the post, based on psychological research, the three healthiest statements moms and dads can make as they perform are:

Before the Competition:
1. Have fun.
2. Play hard.
3. I love you.

After the competition:
1. Did you have fun?
2. I’m proud of you.
3. I love you.

Then he shared six simple words that parents should say based on what they heard from college athletes: “I love to watch you play.” If we could keep that as the primary part of our vocabulary, it would free the students to perform and the parents to cheer.

Cohabitation On The Rise

I was watching the TODAY show this morning and they had a piece on the rise in couples who choose to live together and have children together prior to getting married. Here’s one statistic they shared in the report: “Marriage rates are at their lowest point in half a century and the number of cohabitating couples is way up to 7.5 million in 2010. Statistics show unmarried couples that live together are staying together longer than in the past. After three years, 32% were still living together and still unmarried and in many cases, like the Jolie Pitt clan, having children.”

The reporter went on to say this, “It does not surprise me at all that couples are choosing to cohabitat instead of get married. It’s much less intimidating to sign a lease than marriage papers. Couples want what is permanent. A baby is permanent. a relationship, not so much.”

One of the guest hosts of the show that day lives with his girlfriend and they have children together. They brought on an expert in relationships who said she was not concerned with the rise in cohabitation. Her response was this: “I think people want to be committed to one another and they’ll do it. Just in time.”

I know divorce is a scary and painful thing and many people who are now old enough to marry grew up in a time when a high percentage of parents didn’t stay together. Cohabitation is not a new thing and I think it happens in part because couples don’t want to see their relationship end in divorce. Rather than go through that painful process, couples chose to simply live together.

What stood out to me was the general acceptance (at least of those on the show this morning) of those who choose to live together. It seems that the fear of divorce is enough to justify living together and having children apart from marriage. If you look at the statistic shared in the report, only 1/3 of cohabitating couples are still together have three years. It would be interesting to see what happens to that percentage as the years increase.

I think it also shows that people want what God has placed in our hearts – the desire to be loved and to be known. Way back in the book of Genesis, Adam had everything he needed except a “suitable helper.” So, God gave him Eve.

While I know there are various reasons people chose cohabitation over living together, I think this report shows the value of marriage and how important, fulfilling and sometimes difficult that relationship can be. People want relationships to stick. They want their partner to stay.

One of the hosts this morning said, “The end game is sticking together.” That was God’s original design, to stick together. Our culture is reflecting God’s intent – to stick together. As we commit to His way, with His help, we can stick and stay.

You can see the video of this report, as well as a link to the transcript, on the TODAY Show website.