Ask It Review

Your greatest regret could have been avoided had you asked this particular question and then acted on your question.

That is a pretty powerful statement when you take a minute to consider it. By asking a particular question (and acting on it), you can avoid regret? Sounds pretty bold. In his book, Ask It, Andy Stanley makes some pretty powerful arguments that support that statement.

From his years of being a pastor in the church and also growing up as a pastor’s kid, he has a unique perspective on the decisions people make. At one point in the book, he says that we can learn from past bad experiences and poor choices, even if it is someone else’s bad experiences and poor choices. He has seen enough regret and hurt in the lives of people that he understands the importance of asking this question.

Here is the question: In light of my past experiences, my current circumstances and my future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing to do? It is based on a passage of scripture in Ephesians 5.

While that may not seem like an earth shattering question, when you begin to apply it, it does provide wisdom. In the book he applies this question to specific areas of our lives including time, morality and finances.

The strength of this book is the practically in which Stanley writes. He doesn’t speak in generalities or with examples that don’t fit with our culture, but in very practical ways and cuts right to the heart of many issues.

Near the end of the book he makes a pretty observation. He notes that many people feel like the decisions they make are of a private nature. Basically my decisions are mine to make. However, the consequences of those decisions become public. Basically, whoever you marry, whatever car you drive or home you purchase, whatever job you take, people are going to know. Your private decisions will be public. It makes sense, then, to involve people in the front of those decisions so that when the outcome is public, there are no regrets.

Ask It is a good book and would be a great tool for a small group. Not only is asking the question important, but then applying the answer to that question.

The Noticer

I saw a tweet last week that Andy Andrew’s book The Noticer was available for the Kindle for $2.99 so I snagged it. I’ve read The Final Summit and The Traveler’s Gift and enjoyed both of them.  Andrews is a good storyteller and he pulls you into the tale he is weaving.

One of the things I enjoyed about his other writings was the use of biographies of both well-known and somewhat obscure characters from history.

The Noticer, who goes by Jones (just Jones, not Mr. Jones) pops in and out-of-town and offers wisdom and advice to the people he meets.  He doesn’t seem to age and is always seen carrying a weathered, brown suitcase. The contents of the suitcase are a mystery to everyone he encounters.  He says his gift is noticing things and people just need a little perspective, so he offers that different perspective.  Much of what he shares with others comes from the lives of those in the past.  He refers to George Washington Carver among many others and provides helpful advice at the time people need to hear it.  He helps a couple struggling in their marriage, a business man trying to cut corners in order to be successful, a young man who is facing various difficulties in life and even dispenses relationship advice to teenagers. He shows up at the just the right place, at just the right time, with the right words for the situation.

One of the quotes I highlighted in the book was this:  “Have you ever considered how often we judge ourselves by our intentions while we judge others by their actions?”

The Noticer offers good advice and a different perspective to the reader.  Check it out.

For All the “Old” Youth Pastors

One of the blogs I subscribe to is on the Download Youth Ministry website. They not only offer low-priced, downloadable youth ministry resources, they also provide articles for those who work with students.

Today’s blog had a good article for those who are getting “old” in youth ministry. For a long time I think the ideal youth worker has been pictured as young, “cool” and in touch with students because he/she is close to their age. I thought today’s post, The 40 Year Old Youth Pastor, had some good insights for those who have been in a youth ministry, well…for a few years. Read on….

Looking back, I thought they were the golden years of youth ministry for me….I was close in age with the students and was often confused for being a teenager by parents. I thought this is it…it will never get better. I related to their world and I didn’t have to try hard to be cool…I was cool (notice the past tense.) Now as I prepare to celebrate my 40th birthday…I can’t help but feel that I am a better youth worker than I have ever been.

At least, mostly better. When we got back from summer camp this year, it took me a week or more to recover when before all I needed was one day to sleep in and “veg-out.” (Of course, I didn’t have kids myself so “sleeping in” was really sleeping all day.)

Or when I use to talk with students about their favorite movies or music…I would find that we liked very similar things. I could relate to their world. Now when we talk about movies or music a student is quick to say “Oh yeah, my mom likes them too.” Nice.

Besides it taking longer to recover from camp and being compared to their mom…I feel like I am in my sweet spot. I love being with students and with our leaders. I feel like I am just getting started. Instead of trying to be cool, I can focus all my energy on caring. I also find that rejection hurts less now the older I get…Don’t get me wrong…it still hurts but I have learned to not take rejection so personally. It’s not so bad being older.

This got me thinking about the trends of youth ministry and how long youth pastors stay at a church. Or the new trend of youth workers planting churches. Neither of those things is bad but I want to encourage my youth worker friends…that longevity is a gift and your best years may be ahead of you.

With that in mind:

If you are young, don’t give up….stick it out…you will find it only gets easier and more rewarding the longer you stay.

If you are in the middle, we’ve made it…keep going strong…it’s just getting good.

If you are “older” than the average, thank you! Thank you for not seeing youth ministry as a stepping stone and for believing in teenagers. I look up to you. You are my heroes. And if you start to doubt yourself…know that teenagers need your love more now than ever due to the breakdown of the family unit. Don’t believe the lie that you are too old for youth ministry.

Truthfully, I look forward to the day that a student says “oh yeah, my grandma likes them too.”

What about you? Where do you find yourself? Any “older” youth workers have some wisdom for the young-uns?

Guardrails

We are in the middle of a series in our High School class about making wise decisions. It is based on Andy Stanley’s book The Best Question Ever that I read recently.

Usually in the month of February, we talk about guy/girl relationships, dating, etc. This book provides some insight and principles that helps adults and students in making decisions about various areas of life, including dating relationships.

Talking specifically about moral purity, Stanley talks about the importance of “pre-deciding.”  Before getting into a situation where we may compromise in the realm of purity, we need to pre-decide what we are going to do and not do.

We are going to talk about the guard rails we need to put in place regarding moral purity. Knowing that guard rails are set-up to keep a driver from ending up in a dangerous place, we need to establish guard rails that will help us see the danger coming.

It is so true that times of failure in our moral purity bring the deepest regrets.  In The Best Question ever Stanley writes this: “In time you may find you are able to laugh about wasted money and poor time management.  But when it comes to moral failure, time doesn’t help.  Nobody ever laughs about an affair, divorce, addiction or abuse.”  How true it is that no matter what stage in life we find ourselves, guard rails are helpful.

The Best Question Ever – a review

Andy Stanley is one of my favorite authors and speakers. He communicates in an engaging way, both in the spoken and written word, and is also very practical. He continues that in his book The Best Question Ever.

In this offering, Stanley explores what he calls a new approach to decision-making. His premise is that rather than look to make the right decision, we should look to make the wise decision. He states it like this: “In light of your past experience, your current circumstance, and your future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing to do.”  Rather than just look at a decision and see if there is anything wrong with it, we should see what is wise.

In The Best Question Ever Stanley applies this question to decisions regarding our time, our money and our relationships.  In all these areas, making wise decisions is vital because they can have lasting impact on our own lives and those around us.

I like how Stanley emphasizes the importance of making wise choices on page 125 of the book:  “None of us plan – or intend – to get into trouble.  The problem is, we don’t have a plan not to.  Adopting the Best Question Ever enables us to plan not to.”

Everyone wants to make good decisions.  In this book, Stanley gives some good insight from God’s Word on how to go about making good decisions and part of it is seeing that we are not as unique as we think we are.  When faced with a decision, we can convince ourselves that we are the exception to the rule.  We can go down a certain path because we can handle it, we are smarter or it simply won’t happen to us like it does to other people.  On page 111, he puts on paper what many people think:  “Nobody has ever felt this way before. No one has to deal with what I have to deal with.  I can handle it.  I’m not live everybody else…”

Stanley speaks directly to our need to see that we aren’t unique, that we do need wisdom outside of our ourselves, that wisdom seeks advice from others and God wants to help us make those wise decisions.

The Best Question Ever would be a good resource for high school and college students and young adults.  While more mature adults would benefit from this book, many of the decisions to which he refers are being made by those in the young adult period of their lives.  This would be a good tool for pastors and leaders in student ministry to work through in a small group setting.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review